Desolate Press ~ California
(Ayin Es)

Ayin Es, statement: “My name is Ayin Es. I recently changed it from Carol Es. I grew up in Los Angeles, the greatest city in the world. I am an artist with physical and mental disabilities, and a rape survivor. I identify as transqueer, or a non-binary person. But none of those things define every dimension of who I am.

“I exist to create. Maybe that sounds like an artist's cliché, but since I can remember, I have had the intense drive to make things: Artist's books, music, paintings, you name it. I wrote stories and poetry before I knew what it was or even meant. I fashioned my first book of words and illustrations at five or six and hardly remembered doing it. No one in my family was an artist, and I can't tell you where any of this inspiration came from.”

Medicine Dan
By Ayin Es
Los Angeles: Desolate Press, 2024. Edition of 8.

7 5/8 x 6 1/8 x ¾”; 60 pages. Digital color printing and reproductions on Moab Legion Lasal Photo Matte 235gsm and Kayenta 205gsm paper. Signatures wrapped in imported papers of Thai Marbled Mulberry, Thai Mango, Thai Unryu, Lokta Bloom, and Aitoh Japanese paper. Some papers with custom rubber stamping. Two hand-stitched felt pages. Paper pocket of imported Khadi Indian Paper holding colorful stickers of Dan. Bound in 300gsm Gmund-color (Dusty Blue) hand-cut/embroidered cardstock cover. Handbound with a buttonhole binding using waxed linen threads imported from Ireland. Hand-cut silhouette of Dan on front cover with hand-embroidered title through 300gsm Gmund-color cardstock. Closure of special strap garnished with a wild turkey feather. Signed and numbered. Housed in custom 8 1/8 x 6 3/4 x 1 ¼” hinged Plexi Box.

Artist Statement: “’Medicine Dan’ is a story about a special animal who heals. This artist's book focuses exclusively on Dan, a cartoon character invented by Ayin Es. It includes various original sketches in colored pencils, as well as watercolor and ink illustrations.

“ Who is Dan? And where does he come from? Maybe you've noticed that Dan seems indifferent because he is neither smiling nor frowning because his mouth is just a straight line. Still, he seems to bring cheer to those around him anyway. He's magic like that. “Dan only speaks in colors, stripes or Hebrew letters, if at all. He also appears in different colors at times, but his natural color is light yellow ochre. He also likes to eat celery and brownie bits, but not at the same time.

“Dan was born inside a Gimmel machine. Believe it...or not! His first words were the color yellow.

“As the story goes, long before the birth of Dan coming into physical existence, he lived in a parallel universe called Dantasia. He lived there with insects and colors, and things that resembled trees, but once he found out that this parallel land doesn't physically exist, Dan got upset and became a staunch existentialist. He now has many other interests, such as upside down rainbows, roller skating, black holes, flowers, and turpentine. He knows he can't exist on Earth without some amount of turpentine, but he prefers Turpinoid Natural. He is much less smelly that way, not that he would notice since Dan is usually on Xanax.

“Before Dan was born in color, he appeared one day in Ayin Es's pocket sized, moleskin sketchbook. It was when Ayin had been sad for a long while and then suddenly, Dan appeared! At first, it was in a rough manner and his name was very nearly ‘Glen.’ But then a few more waves of the pen, and there he was, exactly as you see him now: Dan - a life-saving, positive character that conquers depression. That's another reason why Dan is magic.”
$1500 (Last 2 copies)

Queersition
A Zine
By Ayin Es
Los Angeles: Desolate Press, 2023. Edition of 30.

7 x 9"; 36 pages. Printed on 80# premium paper. Perfect Bound with 110# cardstock matte cover. Signed and numbered.

Artist statement: "’Queersition’ is a LGBTQIA+ zine by Ayin Es. It's a gender-affirming transition story about being nonbinary and transqueer. The narrative is depicted through over a dozen pen and ink illustrations and fifteen original watercolors all printed in both color and black and white on 80# premium paper.

“Through these illustrations, Es takes the viewer through what it was like to come out as nonbinary, pushing their gender-affirming surgery through an unsupportive health system and legally changing their name.

“It is a reminder of how trans people run into various issues along the way. It can be tough, humiliating, painful, and exhausting. Perhaps this goes to show how living out the gender you were not physically born with is not a ‘choice’ but obvious mandatory in order to live life authentically."
$48

Outlander
By Ayin Es
Los Angeles: Desolate Press, 2021. Edition of 5.

Housed in recycled cigar box 6.25 x 8.25 x 2.25” with cloth tab and a block print label. Laid in “Outlander” book with hand-carved bow drill kit for making a fire, a military-style compass, and a stocked mini first aid kit. Book of 36 pages handbound with pamphlet stitch. Papers include Strathmore, Moab Legion, Arches, Rives BFK, and other imported papers. 100lb cardstock cover. Signed and numbered by the artist.

Ayin Es: "’Outlander’ is an Artist's book with a theme about walking about or hiking, perhaps getting lost in the wilderness, or maybe even in ones mind. Going on an excursion can be both confusing and eye-opening. One may need certain survival skills to navigate their way. And if given the right tools and opportunity to open themselves to explore the land, a person can realize more than they may ever know. However, this is art, and art shouldn't always make complete sense. Interpret it as you wish.

“Outlander’ has an embroidered cover and little black, hand-cut feet along the bottom of the book. It's basically about hiking, the great outdoors, and suggests the idea of getting lost somewhere out in the wilderness. The interior pages include a few reproductions, original watercolors, lino block prints, photographs, handwritten pages, and original drawings too - both in graphite and pen. There is also an original 13 x 14-inch hand-drawn fold-out map made with graphite, pen, and colored pencil on both the front and back sides.”
(SOLD/ Out of print)